part one

My journey across the country began early this morning. I shared a tearful goodbye with my parents, followed by a tearful goodbye to my home, followed by an even more tearful goodbye to the mountains as I turned eastward. I am generally a quiet and introspective person, so the solo trip over a thousand miles didn't seem too daunting a task to me when I agreed to undertake it. However, flying down the eastern Colorado highway under a blue sky I won't see again for four months, enveloped in the rolling hills blanketed with tree-like lavender-colored wildflowers, my dog frustratedly trying to find a comfortable lying-down position in the backseat, I could not help but feel entirely alone and afraid for the coming term at school.


I longed to turn around before I reached the state line and returning home to fall at the feet of my home at the foot of those magnificent giants and beg to be taken back, to please don't make me go, it's too hard, I will miss you too much to bear. But not three hours later, I saw something I had never seen before. As the dusky sun rolled over the interstate, reflecting off of the semi-truck loading doors, the pavement was drenched in pools of golden light, which followed their tangible creators as loyally as little birds follow their mother from the nest for the first time.


And as if by magic. No, by magic--the magic of the mundane--my hope was restored. The light had no direct significance to my distress, but I have learned by now that this sort of graceful moment tends to present itself solely for the purpose of making us feel better, stronger, more connected to whatever cosmic energy exists out there in the universe. My faith in myself slightly renewed, I thought of words that resonate--in the end, the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself. And so, I'll walk on. I can't go back now.


In other news, I think my poor, worn out old Polaroid has more or less quit on me. She shoots, but she just doesn't see like she used to. That said, I won't give up on her until she's truly done, but until then, I will have to settle for more "stylized" creations from her.